Thankfully it isn't all teary eyes and angry cries all the time. He has quite the smile. And boy do those baby blues just light up when I look at him. He loves to smile at me, he loves to look at faces and be played with. He likes to sit up and watch the world. He wants to be held. All the time. Which is great, if I had all the time in the world to just hold him. Yet I have a toddler who makes messes, and dogs that need to be fed, and yeah I need to shower, do laundry, cook, clean. I try to hold him whenever possible. And I do love it. He doesn't like carriers for the moment, I think once he gets a little bigger and stronger I can put him in the hip carry or joey hold and he would enjoy it. For now, he's *almost* to the point I could carry him forward facing. But now he doesn't like to be restrained. He wants to stand. He wants to kick and play and look around. So strapping him to my body does seem to be working anymore... I tried the Bumbo a week ago or more and he just gets mad. He's *almost* ready for it. He is doing great with head control, and he likes to sit (or jump) on our lap so I don't really get why he doesn't like that.
My brother said it best last weekend. "He cries a lot." Yes. Yes he does. He cries when I feed him, sometimes. He cries when I don't. He cries just to cry it seems and usually cries if you put him down. He HATES being in the carseat AND the car, which as you can imagine makes me really want to go for car rides anywhere. I hate that it should be easy to just go take a baby out with you. But it's not. His crying makes situations stressful. If I had the opportunity to go hang out with people I generally weigh the options of should I go or will it be just Micah crying? Is it worth the drive of doom? At the zoo, we usually have a good crying episode. I'd love to take the kids and the dogs on a good hour long walk everyday, but no, Micah rather it be kept to a brisk 15 minutes. Yeah, that's me with baby wailing in the stroller as I practically run back to the house, hearing his cry echo through the canyon of garage doors. I'm pretty sure he doesn't like it when I take a shower because he cries the instant I get my hair wet. And thinking of getting a sitter...oye. That's a lot to ask someone to do.
He does suffer from moderate reflux, which he is on meds for. He seems to be doing better in that department. And fortunately we discovered that he has thrush on his tongue so that could be part of why he can be fussy at feedings. We called everywhere and no one has Gentian Violet here, so I'm ordering it online I think. We have given him some Tylenol on occasion for the pain, and we've tried swabbing his mouth with Club Soda (something I read about home remedies for thrush). But he's only fussy sometimes. And it is getting fewer and further between feeding fits. Maybe the soda is working? I'm starting to wonder if it's over stimulation since we have zero issues with feeds at night time. He is more aware of his surroundings and I notice that most of these fits are when we are away from home.
Isaac was such an easy baby. He hardly ever cried. He spit up a lot. A lot a lot, but he was dubbed a "happy spitter". He was chunky, and happy. He took naps pretty easily. He was content with whatever. He was sleeping way better at night by now, and I'm going by Micah adjusted age of almost 3 months. He did 8hrs then fed, slept 4 more. Sure he had his days, and the bouts of fits here and there, but nothing like this. I feel for moms of fussy babies everywhere. It changes how you live your life. And more than just the average baby would. It's having all those things about having a baby---you know, the normal stuff---feeds, spit ups, diaper changes--- PLUS the fact your baby cries at random and often. So if you venture out, it's either you are somewhere far away from what you wanted to be doing while trying to soothe the unconsolable child, or everyone with you is blinking slowly at each other while losing the power the think since the constant wailing depletes brain cells of everyone in a 100ft radius. There really isn't anything more stressful than being out in public trying to feed a screaming baby where everyone stares at you as you try to lovingly wrestle your hungry but angry baby to the boob without giving everyone around you a show. Or driving home in rush hour traffic while your baby cries like you've abandoned him forever to starve to death in the back seat of the car. For 25 minutes. Nothing you can do but just hope he doesn't choke on his own tears and pray against all red lights and putsy drivers.
I'm glad that he seems to be getting a little happier, which is probably attributed to his new interest in his surroundings (maybe a double edged sword at this point, being as though that very thing is why he doesn't do so well in different places). It's great to see him doing so much new stuff. I'm glad he is developing on track milestone-wise (things EVERY preemie parent watches for). He's starting to intentionally grab and hold my face. I love it. He smiles most the time that he isn't crying or asleep. He laughs kind of, more like chuckles maybe? He coos more. He talks to us. He kicks like crazy and if you hold him up on his feet he likes to march or walk (I've got video of this). He is so good with his head now that he can actually hold it up without resting on my shoulder. He is also starting to get interested in looking and grabbing at toys. I got him staring at his hand this morning and it was pretty cute. I feel bad that he might be so uncomfortable that it makes him so upset. He probably misses his brother too. I'm most likely just spoiled from having such a good first baby, that it makes this seem so much more difficult. I would like to just get out of the house every now and then and not have to worry about Micah deciding he hates life in the real world.
I wish I had a better picture of his smile on hand, but for now you can just look at how cute he is! Maybe one day when I can get my computer out of safe mode I'll be able to upload pictures from my camera. Hah.
I went through all of the above with Owen. It was horrible. I never went anywhere because the stress of dealing with a screaming baby unless he was sleeping or eating was just too much for me. I hope this time around I don't have that again :/
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry Micah and you are going through that. It must be very hard... But hang in there. Time should come when all you see are those gorgeous blue eyes and loads of toothless grins!
ReplyDeleteHugs!!!