My, Oh My have they grown. My, oh my has time gone by. My, oh my do I HATE my old crappy laptop! So I figured that this title suffices for this post. It really has been much too long since I actually posted a blog. It's not to say that I haven't had probably a hundred various things to blog about since June 3rd, I can guarantee you I have wanted to write a slew of blogs on various topics. Turns out that we are cursed by the computer gods and we do not have a functioning computer on hand, and therefore blog writing becomes quite tricky. I am forced to venture online via my ancient Dell, whose battery life is about 15 minutes, on a good day, weighs about 10lbs (as a laptop) and aside from having an old demented brain with less than 40GB memory, the AC input is shot and therefore my laptop has flickering lapses between battery life and wall power. Needless to say I think I may lose my mind or at least develop epilepsy from this flicking screen. I hate to submit myself to this kind of torture for the sake of a blog post. And as much fun as it might sound, typing up a blog post on a touch screen android tablet is really quite a pain. Unless you want a 5 sentence blog post then I can probably conjur one up for ya.
Yet today is the anniversary of my first ultrasound with the twins, and the day we found out. Micah & Jeremiah turned 8 months just a few days ago. I feel like I should say a few words.
I felt kind of bleh all day. To be honest, the passing of their 8 month milestone has me realizing that shortly I will be celebrating their 1st birthday. And between now and then--many more 1st anniversaries will come---for example, when we found out they were indeed identical twin boys. Or...well...just all those sweet sweet memories that come around with a kiss and a sting. It really isn't easy. I may seem like I am handling it all well, which I am, but it doesn't mean that I don't hurt or that I have moved on. I may be fully living my life as a mom of two on earth, and continuing to enjoy my life, but I will always, ALWAYS miss and love my sweet little boy Jeremiah. I really could go on and on, but I don't want to.
Today was the anniversary of the day we found out it was indeed twins. It was incredible. It was scary. It was fun. I was FREAKED out! I just could not believe that I, Madeline Rose, would and was a mother of twins! Who knew? And more importantly the idea of twin pregnancy scared the stretchmarks off me (I wish haha). What a fun and memorable day. I guess I'm glad I didn't know what was to come. That a year away I would have gone through so much pain and loss. That only one of those babies would survive to live in this world. That one of them I would hold only for a short a while on his birthday and would never get to see him grow before my eyes. That they would have to grow up apart.
As much as I'd like to or not like to, I think I'll just end it there. I am very blessed to have my kids and have Micah growing and doing so well. Isaac is a great big brother. They are both just so much fun. Miss you and love you Jeremiah Colton! Can't wait to hold you close!
I promise I will stop with the sad posts and start with more fun ones...providing we get our new laptop back in the near future. :)